Permission to be Imperfect

Consider this to be…

Permission Granted

Full moon yesterday and I intended to send a blog out into the world two days before the moon. It was meant to be ideas of rooting and centering ritual, as this past full moon brought some heavy swirling of emotional experience for so many. But… there was some heavy and some hard and some general chaos for me too and so… the blog didn’t happen.

I’ve a fifteen month old and, as it oft goes, she happens to have just awoken as I started this blog, thus illustrating its very point. So, I won’t finish this blog when I thought I would and by the time I publish it, the start that says the full moon was yesterday, will probably be inaccurate as it will be days from full moon. And as things like this may knock us off routine and intention, it is most important to allow them to do just that. I’m going to go be there for my daughter, and our lives will be richer for it, and soon I’ll finish this blog… and our lives will be richer for that too.

Breathe through changes. Remember what matters to you. Focus in the moments you can. And allow things to be imperfect.

Forgo perfection for the sake of progress.

**** FULL MOON WAS NO LONGER YESTERDAY ****

I am now returning to finish writing this blog after two busy days and due to the content of this particular piece I thought it worth looping you all into that reality.

I’ve not written as many blogs since I got pregnant, I seem not to be able to be consistent as before. Hysterical. Of course. At month three with new baby, Covid happened. I’m stay at home mom now, a big change for someone who held a job since they were 13, but turns out that it’s a job too! A full time one! In fact, if I didn’t watch her all the time I’d be paying someone to do so and that would be their job. Can you tell I’m working to make sure that my brain understands this truth? Man, our society has really done a number to make us believe that stay at home parenting isn’t a real value. Woof. …. Anyway, as I was saying, I am momming full time and thus my writing time is during nap, and often other chores must happen then too. You may not have baby but you likely still have reasons that being consistent with your personal goals can be a challenge.

Here’s the beauty I’ve come to embrace… I’ve found consistency in practices by being consistent with inconsistent commitment.

You know what else I’m learning? To give myself grace. Making progress this way means recognizing that small amounts of progress are still progress. Also, I’m learning how to put my phone down. The want to scroll is fair, I’m cut off from the world and it provides some semblance of connection. But if I listen to my feels deep inside I can tell that there’s an element of time waisted and lack of fulfillment. Sometimes I literally time my procrastination window and then get to the writing. That practice is helping me to do the actual work, which is ending self sabotage and making real space for the goals that fulfill me. Do the work. Listen to the inside voice and be decisive. Identify your goals, the things that feel good for you, and then elect to spend time with these things.

Even though life is still a hodgepodge of chaos (isn’t it always), here’s the great news: I’m getting things done! I move forward. Steps forward, even one at a time, actually do move you forward. I’ve forgone the ideal – my days of six hours of writing while listening to music are just not here right now. So if I want to do anything I need to say yes to doing it in the conditions that currently exist. I say YES. Hell, I scream it. Because when you have an incessant internal nudge to make certain things happen, you really will feel so much better when you listen to that. In this very moment, I am working through maintaining a train of thought as my husband is in a zoom call for work and that is happening in our living room at our dining table because we have a house that is small enough where his work from home is half our dining space, and that’s the living room too. C’est la vie!

There are always things that are not ideal, obstacles of the dream you have about the thing you wish to do. One of my favorite meditations asks you to imagine the thing you wish you were doing. Example: Working out. My first imagining is me in a workout outfit and with a section of time that’s just mine where I have space to make noise and do whatever activity I desire. Okay, well if I wait for that I will absolutely not succeed at working out consistently, if ever. Now, picture it happening in your current reality, no steps of idealism fabrication. Here’s the second imagining and what I do now. In baby’s room at wake up and she plays, I stretch. We are playing in yard and she’s away from my body bubble, I do leg lifts. Strengthening and stretch exercises happen at any and all points throughout the day. I fit in walks whenever she is into it. I push her in the car in the yard. And I do the work, like stated above with scrolling vs writing, if I sit down or relax while playing I note if that’s even what is truly fulfilling for me and I make a different choice when I know that the truth is activity may ultimately fulfill me more. I aim to do pelvic floor therapy workout every night once she is in bed, depending on my actual energy reserve any given night my commitment adjusts. But, I succeed in doing something 5 nights a week because I’m willing to accept imperfection, lay down on the ground with my resistance band, while some funny show plays on TV and I do whatever exercises I have energy to do. There used to be two hours at a gym, that doesn’t exist now. Luckily there is still opportunity, by embracing truth and transformation I still make progress.

I’ve done a similar thing with my work as ModMedWoman. I post on facebook, or instagram, when I’ve only small moments to give and I write blogs in nap windows. However…. here’s an exciting announcement I’ve been building to… I’ve done the work I discussed above and have identified my goals and I am working toward them. My daily contributions here will remain less because a larger contribution is in progress.

I’m writing a book!

The book includes some concepts touched on here, it is a how to for getting in touch with one’s truest self and actualizing your core authentic being, and it is an instructional for utilizing self discovery to engage in tangible goal setting, and achieving, that will bring peak life fulfillment. There are rituals and exercises to unlock your process, nature witch and light work practices, with lunar relationship at their heart.

Over the years many of you have communicated how this work helps you and your words have inspired me to boost my voice. Thank you.

The rightness of writing this book propels productivity, and I am consistent in working on it within the inconsistent life framework of moments with space enough for me to write. Sometimes the imperfect environment and opportunity is frustrating, but every day that I write anything at all some small valve inside of my body releases the steam of my pent-up stories and the puff of smoke from that release gives me a high, an oh-my-goodness-I’m-so-vibing-with-my-own-contribution one-of-a-kind high.

I’m stoked to generate a work that will help you feel that vibrant connection to the output you give to the world. Until the book is writ, remember that your voice matters and every little thing counts.

Progress. Not perfection. It’s messy. We are messy. Life is messy. That’s okay. Breathe and let it be messy. Do what you can when you can and how you can and let that be enough. Breathe again. Step forward. One step. Take the next when you can, cumulatively you’re walking a path. You are enough and I’m so happy you are. Let’s do the damn thing.

Blessed be.

** Note: It took me yet another day to actually publish this. Still… TADA!!